Sock Jesus > Toast Jesus?

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Created: Wednesday, 28 December 2011 12:22

Written by Matt

Scientifically, the chances of Jesus H. Christ being a fair skinned, Caucasian man, with flowing brown/blonde locks and a well trimmed beard are about the same as Taylor Lautner not being gay.  That is to say, the "official" image of Jesus is one of our perspective; "our" meaning the white, European Catholicize one.. you know, the right one. That being said, Jesus has been seen once again, this time in a sock - an old, grey gym sock.

Sarah Crane, from somewhere in the UK (Does it really matter? They all look the same, what, with their crooked teach and sunken chins i.e. the guy from the UK Office, the guy from that movie, about inventing lying and the guy who everyone hated when he hosted the Golden Globes.), noticed something odd about the laundry she had laid out the previous night. When viewed at just the right angle, with just the right light with just the right amount of intoxication faith - you can see a few folds that appear to create a face. Whose face? Our Lord and Savior's of course.. who else's?

Crane says that she had left the laundry out over night and when she went to check it in the morning, she was shocked to see a face in one of the socks.  She called her boyfriend over and he confirmed that it was "clearly" Jesus' face - as you can tell by the look on her face and here suggestive arms. I don't know.. you tell me. She called family and friends to see it, who, according to her, were all amazed as well. Crane went so far as to begin to build a shrine to the sock (no pictures unfortunately), but said that when moved, the creases that made up the face became less distinct. She "decided" not to donate it to the local church.. No word on whether or not the church would have accepted.

For my money, I'll take Toast Jesus, Metal Pipe Jesus, Frying Pan Jesus, Google Earth Jesus, and everyone's favorite - Cloud Jesus. I'll let you google those. As an aside, $25 USD to the first person to find a likeness of me in something.. Boom.

[via Daily Mail]