Man Stabs Self in Stomach, Throws Own Intestines at Police

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Created: Tuesday, 29 May 2012 20:20

Written by Joe

Everybody is talking about the naked guy who recently got high on bath salts before eating another naked man's face. Tha's pretty hardcore but it's overshadowing another crazy event that took place the other day in a North Jersey town.

43 year old Wayne Carter threatened to harm himself with a knife when neighbors called police. When police arrived, they found Wayne barricaded inside his house. Once they broke down the door, they found Wayne in the kitchen corner wielding the knife. 

He proceeded to stab himself multiple times in the belly. This caused some of his intestines to fall out. Wayne then began throwing his own intestines at the oncoming officers. 

They used pepper spray on him but it had no effect and the officers had to retreat. It wasn't until the SWAT team arrived that they were able to subdue Wayne.

Let's break this down real quick. The only thing more insane than stabbing yourself and throwing your own intestines at police officers is getting high, stripping naked, and eating another naked human's face in a public setting. And that happened the same weekend Wayne decided to fling his own intestines at police officers. Talk about bad luck.

Wayne is currently in critical condition at a local hospital.

[via NorthJersey.com]

Best Wings Pittsburgh: The Firehouse Lounge, Ambridge PA

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Created: Wednesday, 23 May 2012 22:19

Written by Joe

The Firehouse Lounge in Ambridge, PA. Not only are they one of our sponsors, but they also happen to have the best chicken wings in the Pittsburgh area. 

No bullshit. They are that good. Check out the wing page on their website.

Vote for them here: WPXI.com Best Wing Submission Page

Cows Get Stuck in Cabin. Freeze to Death. Forces May Blow Up Carcasses.

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Created: Friday, 11 May 2012 21:55

Written by Joe

If you own a cabin about 11,000 feet up in the Rocky Mountains and have not visited it recently, you may find a bunch of frozen cows in it. I'm not talking about 2 or 3 frozen cows. I'm talking a herd of cattle. Frozen solid. Inside your cabin.

2 Air Force Academy Cadets were patrolling the mountains as they usually do when they came across a remote cabin. They approached it to make sure all was well when they noticed that nobody was home. As they peered inside, they saw nothing but cows. A Lot of them. When they investigated further, they saw every, single one of them was frozen solid.

They hypothesize that there was a particularly bad snowstorm one day. A herd of nearby cattle instinctively went looking for shelter. That's when the cows managed to not only find the cabin, but they made their way inside it. So far the cows have totally outsmarted the snow storm.

That is until they tried to get out once the snow storm ended. They couldn't because it snowed so much that they were entombed inside it. With no food and no heat, they all slowly froze to death. Since it was winter, high in the rocky mountains, the temperature never went above freezing, preserving the cows exactly as they were when they died.

This now leads us to the next problem: Cleaning up this mess. The forest service they with will either:

1. Send in a crew to literally chop them all up and transport them out of the area
2. Blow the cows and the cabin up

[via Newser.com]

Meanwhile in Mexico: 6th Graders Make a Porno in an Empty Classroom

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Created: Friday, 11 May 2012 06:43

Written by Joe

Mexico tries to talk itself up by saying they have an actual government, police, and even laws, but anybody who has ever been there knows this is all just smoke and mirrors. In the past 5 years I've been to Mexico three times. On two of those trips I was forced to bribe a police officer to get out of a minor traffic violation.

I say forced because the officer in each case said "I can either take you down into the station overnight or you can give me (Insert $$$ Amount) now and be on your way. It's your choice." What's a sexy, American, male tourist to do? I wouldn't be able to make it in an American prison let alone a Mexican one so you can understand the predicament that I was in.

But back to the subject matter of this post. Reports are pouring out of Mexico stating that a flock of 6th graders from around the Mexican Gulf Coast state of Campeche recorded a pornographic video. Inside the school. And I say flock because isn't that what a group of Mexican children is called? 

How does this happen? I didn't know they even had video recorders in Mexico yet so this really surprises me. 

The incident occurred in late April at a grade school in the town of Calkini, which is in a relatively conservative and heavily Indian area. Three boys are seen on the video engaging in oral and anal sex recorded on a cellphone by a fourth person, apparently another student.

Authorities didn't announce the students' ages, but sixth-graders in Mexico are generally 12 or younger.

[via FoxNews via Pat11d]

Man Mows Lawn in Loin Cloth. Shouts Obscenities. Exposes Himself. All next to Day Car facility.

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Created: Wednesday, 09 May 2012 06:36

Written by Joe

I've cut alot of grass in my lifetime. I still do. It's not necessarily exciting, but I don't mind doing it. It's not uncommon to be cutting the grass and something happen that causes me to curse. This could be one of the wheels getting hung up in a rut or the bag of the mower falling off, covering me in grass clippings.

When this happens, I naturally curse louder because the mower is actively running. After one or two obscenities have been yelled, it's back to work as if nothing has ever happened. Nobody bats an eye to this kind of conduct.

In order for you to be cursing while cutting grass to the extent where neighbors can hear you, you must be shouting very loud. But this still isn't necessarily a cause for concern. Unless you see that the man who is behind all of this nonsense is cutting the grass in only a loin skin cloth. And if you've seen the man expose himself numerous times. And if he is right next to a day care center that was bustling with children.

That's exactly what 43 year old Matthew Swanson of Fergus Falls, Minnesota was doing the other day. He was placed behind bars and charged with disorderly conduct.

[via WDay.com]