Teen Frozen Stiff. Taken to Hospital. Thaws out. Walks out door.

Ice Ice BabyThe early 1980's sucked. There was no Internet, like 3 television channels, no cell phones, and did I say there was no Internet? If the Internet was around back then, this story would have dominated the headlines. I say that because this story happened December 20, 1980.

Jean Hillard, an 18 year old woman from Bismark, North Dakota, was driving to her parent's house when her car slid off of the road. Since it was stuck, she decided to walk the rest of the way. She was a mere 15 feet from their door when she passed out into the snow. It wasn't until the next morning when a neighbor found her body. She was frozen solid.

She was so frozen that when they put her in the car to take her to the hospital they had to put her in the back seat at an angle as if she was a giant piece of wood. When she arrived at the hospital they were not able to penetrate her skin with a needle to issue an IV and her eyes did not respond to any kind of light.

Her pulse was a mere 12 beats a minute and her temperature did not even register on a thermometer. The only choice they had was to wrap her up in an electric blanket and let her thaw out. About 2 or 3 hours later, she started coming to life. Once she was 100% thawed out, she was 100% normal. 

No frostbite. No brain damage. Not even any freezer burn. 100% normal as if nothing had happened.

 

[via the New York Times via Cracked.com]

Boy Pretends Pizza Slice is Gun, Gets Disciplined

Nicholas Taylor is a 10 year old boy from Nashville, Tennessee. Last week during lunch at his elementary school they were served pizza. After he took a few bites another student said "Hey, that looks like a gun!" as he gestured towards Nicholas' slice of pizza.

Seeing humor in this, Nicholas picked up the slice of pizza and began to make shooting gestures towards other students. A teacher saw this and turned in Nicholas ASAP for fear he was insane.

That's like me threatening someone with a wet noodle, it's harmless. He didn't even finger bang his fellow students.

He was forced to eat lunch by himself for 6 days and told if he does it again he would be suspended. 

 

[via WKRN]

Man Eats Cocaine from Brother's Butt, Dies

cocaine baggieThat's an actual headline. Man Eats Cocaine from Brother's Butt, Dies. 

Deangelo and Wayne Mitchell were loving brothers from South Carolina who liked to bond over drugs. Preferably cocaine. One day, they were pulled over for a routine traffic stop. 

Worried that they would find the cocaine that was stashed in Deangelo's butt,  Deangelo convinced his brother Mitchell to eat it. Deangelo should have been a salesmen instead of a drug dealer.

How the hell do you convince anyone, let alone your brother, to eat a persumably poop covered bag of cocaine so that you do not get in trouble? On top of that, why would the cocaine be safer in his brothers belly instead of his own butt? Simply incredible.

 Wayne died a short time later due to a massive drug overdose. Deangelo is now being charged with manslaughter.

 

[via Koat.com via Chrissy Teigen's Twitter]

The Disappearing Boob Implant

boob implantsA 59 year old woman recently got boob cancer and had to get a double mastectomy. Instead of living the rest of her life boobless, she decided to get implants. All very normal.

She tried to stay in shape by doing pilates. During one particular exercise, her one boob up and vanished like a fart in the wind.

She wasn't in any pain, but knew it couldn't be good to have a breast implant simply vanish so she went to the emergency room. They did an xray to find that the implant didn't totally disappear. It simply got sucked in through the rib cage into her chest cavity.

The moral of this story is boobs are fun.

 

[via MSNBC]

Light Saber Assault at Toys R Us

Above: Obama yielding a light saber on the White House front yard because he can.Police arrested a man the other night at a Toys R Us in Portland, Oregon after he picked up a Star Wars light saber and began swinging it at customers. Police were called at 9:50 PM and tried to calm the man down but he did not listen.

What do police officers do to people when they do not respond to their orders? They taser the shit out of them. Or at least try to. One police officer went to taser him but it didn't work for whatever reason. Another office shot a taser at him but he batted it away with the light saber like he was Barry Bonds before it made contact with his skin.

Eventually they just rushed him and pinned him to the ground. He was arrested for assult with a light saber.

 

[via BoingBoing.net]

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