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Created: Wednesday, 29 February 2012 19:22
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Written by Joe
My inspiration for this piece was an article on CNN's tech page titled The Do's and Don'ts of Borrowing a Computer. I think the target audience for this article was anyone over the age of 75 and imbecils. I'm going to break down each section for you here so that you do not have to endure the pain of reading CNN's piece.
DON'T assume the owner wants to give you his/her password
I would say the majority of users out there have their computer password protected in some way, shape, or form. If you don't, you're a fucking idiot. Unless it's your mother or father, you don't just sit down at their computer and demand to know their password if the system prompts for one. You say something like "Hey, it's asking for your password..." and see how they react.
If they don't tell you what it is within .25 seconds of asking that question, that means they don't want to tell you what it is. They are also secretely hoping that you do not stumble across their massive stash of midget porn they have saved in a hidden folder on their C: titled Midet Porn.
DO ask before altering the hard drive
Based on the target audience of this article which was determined in the opening paragraph of this piece, nobody reading this will have any fucking clue what this even means. What it should say is "Don't install shit without asking"
DON'T leave a trail of cookie crumbs
Again, nobody who actually reads this article will know what that means. It's essentially telling the readers to delete their internet history before they are done using the computer. It's a commonly accepted fact that it is impossible to surf the internet for more than 10 consecutive minutes before ending up on a pornographic website. Knowing that, the owner of that computer will collect their own fair share of pornographic cookies. They don't need you're help.
DO withhold judgment
Although every tip mentioned above is beyond common senes, they are legit. This one is the onIy one on this list that I disagee with.
If you are on somebody else's computer, regardless of the fact that they are doing you a service by letting you use it in the first place, if you uncover that they have been searching for Rosie O'Donnell Nude Pics you have every right to hold it against them. If they are searching for naughty things and don't want anybody to see, you say "Yeah, you can use my laptop but please be advised that the stuff you see caked into the corners of my trackpad is not cream of wheat. It's semen." Or you can casually clear the browsing history and avoid this entire situation.
Thank you CNN. Without this article I would not have known how to properly act the next time I'm on somebody else's computer.
[via CNN]
